"Hello, you are through to dial a pizza, can I confirm your phone number please?"
"yes, my number is 121-3456"
"Ah, I have that as number 12 Anyroad street"
"Wow great yeah, how the fuck did you do that?"
"Dial a pizza has invested in some new software that was going cheap, it is called 'call connect' and we think it's great"
"'Kin Hell! what else does it do?"
"Well you will be pleased to know that a 12 inch margherita is on the way to you as we speak"
"Why the fuck have you done that?"
"Well, come on, you phoned us, chances are you will want a pizza so we sent you one the moment we picked up the phone"
"But hold on, how do you know that you're sending me what I want?"
"Look, you phoned for a pizza, we are sending you a pizza, it should be about half way there by now"
"But I haven't placed my order yet, why have you sent it already? this really stinks"
"Okay I hear what you are saying but it isn't my fault"
"What do you mean it isn't your fault?"
"You phone a pizza house, we send you a pizza"
"I might want a kebab"
"Ah yes. Well, although we are a pizza chain, and we do do kebabs the government have decided that you should always get a margherita within 8 minutes on 75% of the occasions you call us when you are really hungry. Let me see, our computer says that the delivery guy should be there any minute now"
"That's just fucking stupid"
"Sorry sir, that's the way it is. Now may I take your order please?"
"Order? I was just phoning to see if you were open on Wednesdays"
"Oh shit! Hold on a second, I'll just see if I can call the delivery driver off, we have a call coming in from someone who really needs this pizza, he is saying that it's a life or death matter.. Nope,sorry, it looks like our driver is committed. Right, okay here's what we will do, our delivery guy will just check you over to see that you aren't hungry now and I am sure he will happily explain our opening hours whilst he is filling in the Response not Consumed paperwork"
((Knock)) - ((Knock))
"Pizza Delivery"
"yes, my number is 121-3456"
"Ah, I have that as number 12 Anyroad street"
"Wow great yeah, how the fuck did you do that?"
"Dial a pizza has invested in some new software that was going cheap, it is called 'call connect' and we think it's great"
"'Kin Hell! what else does it do?"
"Well you will be pleased to know that a 12 inch margherita is on the way to you as we speak"
"Why the fuck have you done that?"
"Well, come on, you phoned us, chances are you will want a pizza so we sent you one the moment we picked up the phone"
"But hold on, how do you know that you're sending me what I want?"
"Look, you phoned for a pizza, we are sending you a pizza, it should be about half way there by now"
"But I haven't placed my order yet, why have you sent it already? this really stinks"
"Okay I hear what you are saying but it isn't my fault"
"What do you mean it isn't your fault?"
"You phone a pizza house, we send you a pizza"
"I might want a kebab"
"Ah yes. Well, although we are a pizza chain, and we do do kebabs the government have decided that you should always get a margherita within 8 minutes on 75% of the occasions you call us when you are really hungry. Let me see, our computer says that the delivery guy should be there any minute now"
"That's just fucking stupid"
"Sorry sir, that's the way it is. Now may I take your order please?"
"Order? I was just phoning to see if you were open on Wednesdays"
"Oh shit! Hold on a second, I'll just see if I can call the delivery driver off, we have a call coming in from someone who really needs this pizza, he is saying that it's a life or death matter.. Nope,sorry, it looks like our driver is committed. Right, okay here's what we will do, our delivery guy will just check you over to see that you aren't hungry now and I am sure he will happily explain our opening hours whilst he is filling in the Response not Consumed paperwork"
((Knock)) - ((Knock))
"Pizza Delivery"
